Be A Good Wife
God created man and woman. Marriage was God's idea, and He knows how to make marriage work.
Follow any other plan than God's at your own risk!
God loves you and desires the best for you. His instruction is for your good.
MARK 10:6-9 NKJ
6 "But from the beginning of the creation, God `made them male and female.'
7 `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife,
8 and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9 "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
EPHESIANS 5:33 NKJ
33 . . . let the wife see that she respects her husband.
EPHESIANS 5:33 Amplified
33 . . . let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband -- that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly.
If every wife practiced Ephesians 5:33, divorce would become rare. Of course, the devil and the world encourage wives to do the exact opposite: belittle, criticize, put down, and nag their husband.
TITUS 2:4-5 NKJ
4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.
TITUS 2:4-5 Amplified
4 So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober-minded -- temperate, disciplined -- and to love their husbands and their children;
5 To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach -- blasphemed or discredited.
You must acknowledge and appreciate the things he does. Try to stay positive. Give a sincere compliment whenever possible. Resist nagging, which will not help.
1 TIMOTHY 3:11 NKJ
11 Likewise their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.
The Bible tells wives to respect their husbands, to be reverent. Wives should encourage their husbands and build them up with their words.
1 PETER 3:2 Amplified
2 When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband. That is, you are to feel for him all that reverence includes] -- to respect, defer to, revere him; [revere means] to honor, esteem (appreciate, prize), and [in the human sense] adore him; [and adore means] to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love and enjoy [your husband].
1 PETER 3:3-6 NKJ
3 Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel;
4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
Being feminine, with a gentle and quiet spirit, is not only precious in God's sight, but is very wise and also attractive to men. Being loud and boisterous has much less chance of producing anything positive.
1 TIMOTHY 2:9-10 NKJ
9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing,
10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.
While not wrong to try and look your best, remember the most important is your "inner beauty," the fruit of the spirit and the glow of God's presence.
Do Not Divorce
ROMANS 7:2-3 NKJ
2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.
1 CORINTHIANS 7:39 NKJ
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
MARK 10:12 NKJ
12 "And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
1 CORINTHIANS 7:10-11,13-15 NKJ
10 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband.
11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.
13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
Divorce is no real solution. It will only substitute a new set of miseries for the ones left behind. God's best is for you to overcome the problems with God's help.
Do Not Deprive
1 CORINTHIANS 7:2-5 NKJ
2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Withholding physical intimacy from your husband as a way of punishment or revenge is wrong. God desires for you to be a giver as His representative -- and overcome evil with good.
1 CORINTHIANS 7:34 NKJ
34 . . . she who is married cares about the things of the world -- how she may please her husband.
COLOSSIANS 3:18 NKJ
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
EPHESIANS 5:21-24 NKJ
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
EPHESIANS 5:22 Amplified
22 Wives, be subject -- be submissive and adapt yourselves -- to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.
1 PETER 3:1 Amplified
1 In like manner you married women, be submissive to your own husbands -- subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them. So that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,
Why God Asks Wives To Submit
1. That they might become conformed to the image of Christ. (To become like Jesus.)
2. To be a type of the believer submitting to Christ.
3. Because of the way God created men and women: marriage will work best that way and produce the most happiness for both husband and wife.
1 CORINTHIANS 11:7-9 NKJ
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man.
8 For man is not from woman, but woman from man.
9 Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.
Submission is for your protection as a wife -- not for your harm.
What Does It Mean To Submit?
To submit does not mean to be a doormat. Or, to obey any order no matter what it is.
Although Peter wrote that we were to submit to civil government authorities, he also personally told some in Acts 5:29 that he must obey God rather than men.
1 PETER 2:13 NKJ
13 Therefore submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake, whether to the king as supreme,
ACTS 5:29 NKJ
29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said: "We ought to obey God rather than men.
And Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit to one another -- not just wives to their husbands.
EPHESIANS 5:21 NKJ
21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.
Submitting is really the opposite of rebelling. Submission is an attitude of respect -- not necessarily outward obedience. You can be submissive and show respect to your husband even when obeying the higher authority of God.
Submitting does not mean you should never share your ideas. It has to do with the manner in which you share them.
What If Submitting Hurts?
Submitting will often be hard on the flesh. You can argue about your rights -- or you can die to your self, take up your cross and follow Jesus.
Submitting is part of God's program to prepare you for eternity with Him. This life is preparation for eternity. And God's plan is for you to be conformed to the likeness of Jesus Christ. That means all selfishness and rebelliousness has to go.
ROMANS 8:29 NKJ
29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.
ROMANS 8:18 NKJ
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
1 PETER 2:21-23 NKJ
21 For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps:
22 "Who committed no sin, nor was guile found in His mouth";
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
In the context of telling wives to be submissive to their husbands, 1 Peter 3:9 says, "you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing."
1 PETER 3:9 NKJ
9 not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
1 PETER 4:19 NKJ
19 Therefore let those who suffer according to the will of God commit their souls to Him in doing good, as to a faithful Creator.
God can be trusted.
1 PETER 5:5-7 NKJ
5 Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."
6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,
7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Study And Learn
Women are different than men. You will never be able to change your husband into being and thinking just like you. Criticizing, nagging, and lecturing will not help. Read some good books on marriage by Christian authors and follow their advice on how to treat your husband.
Both men and women have inherent strengths and weaknesses, which, when combined in a godly marriage where both walk in divine love, produce something stronger than any individual.
One of the most helpful things in marriage is to practice "not returning evil for evil" (1 Peter 3:9). It is inevitable that offenses will come, that you will be hurt. When that happens, you have a choice: do I lash back and hurt them, or, do I walk in love. If you allow what your spouse does to make you respond in kind, then your spouse is controlling you. Is that what you want?
God's instructions for wives are for their own good and protection. The devil encourages doubt and rebellion, but your choice should be to trust in God to direct your husband, and -- if necessary -- to deliver you from trouble your husband may get you into as a result of bad choices.
Your husband wants to make you happy -- he probably just does not know how. Help him to understand what you want without nagging him or putting him down as a person. For example, if you want your husband to listen to you more, ask him to listen to you and tell him you will appreciate it.
Finally, do not expect your husband to provide everything God desires to provide for you. Look to God. Your husband is only human and needs help -- that is why you are here.
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